Kitten Tales
by sinadino
Summary: A series of little furry adventures in the Priestly - Sachs household Thanks to Yara and Lara (yes, those are the names) who helped immensly with these little tidbits
1. Daring enterprises

Now that is just rude! This is my bed – why does the tall one keep tossing me out of it?  
I really don't like this and I'll show her. My hisses might still need some practice, but she seems to be a smart one. Her long slender fingers find the perfect spots and I relax on her arm and start to purr.  
Now her mate comes. Sigh, this is when they usually leave me in the kitchen and disappear upstairs.  
The dark haired human says something to my silver haired servant. The fingers slow and I feel heat rising in my human's body. Yay – kitchen time again.  
She almost drops me as they both rush upstairs. Sigh... even my so-called owners aren't that loud.  
I kind of miss them. They are with their – I believe the word they used was "Daddy" – which means they won't be here tonight.  
Honestly – I have been here for 3 weeks. Yet they leave in the morning, which suits me just fine, don't get me wrong – this way I can spread out on my bed of choice without anyone interrupting. Then they come back in the afternoon, wake me and then they sit on some weird wooden thing. They switch on a heating device and put some paper under it... and I am not allowed on it! Rude!  
Finally, they scratch me for a little while... but way too soon they go to bed and I am on my own – again.  
One would think they would at least stay during the weekends, but noooooo – they need to go to _Daddy_ – whatever that is.

The only company I really have is that huge huge mountain of fluff. She is called Patricia. And she is a dog. A gigantic dog. But she makes for a nice ride and doesn't talk much.  
I see her resting her head on her paws and pretending to sleep. Pah, she can't fool me.  
I climb up on her back, tread a bit and settle down in her warm fluffy fur. I hear her huffing but she stays as she is. Good doggy.

"Hey, Patty, you've been in here for ages. Do you know what those two are doing upstairs?"

"Nope."

"You've never gone up there?"

"Only when my Mistress allows it."

"Your what?"

"My Mistress. The older one. She is the Alpha in this house, always has been. And she is raising her offspring to be alphas too."

"And the other one?"

"I don't know yet. She's new. She arrived shortly before you did."

"Mmmh."

That is so typical. Patty has a Mistress. Pah – there will never be anything that would be my Mistress. It is strange. Why do those two grown ups rush up there just like the two red heads when they get back from someplace called Skoo el?

"I wonder what is up there." I say out loud and Patty huffs.

"Just more rooms with rugs and furniture I am not allowed on."

"But what do they do?" I do realize that I am whining, but I really want to know.

"Have you ever heard the human saying _Curiosity killed the cat_?"

"Pfft – I have nine lives."

Patty sighs.

I reach out and start playing with those large floppy ears. She endures it for a while and then shakes her head – carefully so I won't fall down. (as if that would happen – what are claws for?!)

"What do you suggest?"

"Now you're talking business, Patty."

"Could you please stop calling me that?"

"Not today, Patty."

Another deep sigh.

"I say we sneak upstairs and have a look."

"Please no."

"Come on."

"But Mistress might not like it."

"Or maybe she will and then she might give you one of those sticks you seem to like so much."

I knew I would get her with those treats.

Patty rises and I stay with her, my claws keeping a tight grip on her fur – but I am careful not to actually scratch her. She might prove useful for me... no need to aggravate this big softie.

We climb the stairs until we reach the floor in which the humans have disappeared.

"Do we really have to go in there?"

Why do dogs whine so much?

"Yes, Patty. We do want to find out about this, don't we?"

I jump onto the floor and keep my nose up in the air. There is an interesting smell in there. It seems to come from the same direction where those weird noises are coming from.

I see the softie's tail is between her legs.

"Come on Patty, it's alright."  
I sneak forward toward the next door. The noises are louder now and the smell is intoxicating.  
I feel a drop of Patty's drool fall on my back – I really have to talk to her about that.

I nudge the door with my nose but it doesn't budge.

"Time for you to show your muscles, big girl." I nudge Patty and she looks down at me.

"Can't we just go back down? Please?"

"No. If we do that we'll never find out what is going on!"

We both jump and freeze when we hear a yell from behind the door.

"That was Mistress... she never yells." Patty is rather agitated. Very nice. I allow myself a short purr.

"Well, open the door so we can help them."

***

Patty ran back downstairs after both humans screamed like banshees upon seeing us in the doorway.

I decided to stay – even though those screams did hurt my ears. I settled down and started cleaning my paws while glancing at them.

They haven't moved since they saw us entering. Very weird, these humans.

And again with the rudeness: now the younger one shoves me out of the room and locks it.

The nerve those humans have!

Meow!


	2. Name game

Soooooo niiiiiice to have these fingers stroking my fur juuuust where I like it. I've found that humans like it when I purr, so I take care not to reward them too often. But it's hard to restrain myself when those hands work their magic.  
The younger one enters. She smells like she's been outside. And I think she ate one of those burgers the two red-heads are so fond of.  
"So, have the girls decided on a name yet?", she asks.  
"Yes."  
"So...?"  
"What?"  
"Won't you tell me her name?"  
I follow their conversation back and forth. It is a bit like chasing that weird suddenly appearing and then disappearing red dot.  
The brunette points at me and kneels next to me, her left hand reaching out as if to pet me. Poor you, I haven't forgotten how you kicked me out of the bedroom.  
I demonstratively turn around and show her my behind. When she tries to pet it I whirl around with a hiss and she hastily retracts. If I could smirk, I would.  
I gracefully curl up on my slave's lap and reward her continued stroking with a few loud purrs.  
"O-kay then. I'll leave the two of you alone."  
"Andrea…"  
"Don't bother, you have a pussy to pet."  
I hear my human gulp. Her body shivers and she apologetically looks at me while she carefully sets me on the warm and fluffy cashmere blanket.  
"Andrea? Wait."

I hear heels clicking on the floor and decide to investigate the soon to be following conversation.  
The Andrea person points at me. "That cat freaks me out. I mean – it's not normal for a kitten to be interested in watching us … in bed."  
"Really, Darling. I doubt she even knows what is going on."  
Not really, no. I absolutely fail to grasp why I am not allowed in that room with the comfy bed. Especially when they cuddle. I am fluffy, I can retreat my claws. Why won't they allow me in there? Though I think the white haired one might – if only her mate wasn't so strict about it.  
"So, what about the name? Caroline didn't tell me what it was, she just texted me that it was quite a fitting one."  
"I don't know about that. I have never heard of that name before. I wonder where they got it from. It sounds beautiful though, so it fits her."  
And with that I am scooped up in her arms. Yes, I like this human. She better stay the alpha in this house and not let the brunette take over – though I have a slight feeling that this might actually happen. I need to tread carefully around that one.  
"So? What is it?"  
"Saphira."  
Andrea starts to laugh. In fact she doesn't seem to be able to keep herself together. My human stops her hand movements. Sigh – and there I thought she was good at multitasking.  
"I can't see what might be so funny about this."  
Finally those delicate fingers start moving again and I reward my slave with a low purr.  
"Oh, Miranda. I am not going to tell you. I'll leave that to the girls."  
Then the brunette steps closer and bows down a bit so her head is at my level. Yes, good girl, bow before me.  
Her hand comes slowly closer, her eyes never leaving me as if to ask for permission.  
Generously, I allow it. She understands my head movement right and moves her hand to the correct spot. Yes, she is a smart one.  
Again I show my approval with a few purring noises.  
"Well, Saphira, you are quite a beauty, but I still don't want you in our bedroom."  
I stiffen at that. She's going to be a handful.  
The brunette's lips started moving, but instead of talking to her mate her words were still directed at me.  
My eyebrows rise up... well, as little as I manage to do so, but you get the picture.  
Why in the world would this one attempt to communicate with me other than complaining about my presence in that room with the fluffy blankets they often use?  
"So I asked a friend of mine what I could do to distract you a bit so that you won't mind it so much when you're all alone. After all, Patricia is gone and…"  
"Andrea, do you have to talk to her as if she were a human being?"  
The resulting pout on those full lips is almost cute.  
"Says the one who is constantly spoiling her."  
I am NOT spoiled. I am treated the way I deserve!  
"...Well, I just bought a few herbs. The vet said cats like them a lot, so she will be in the kitchen or wherever we put them, and then you might get to pet a different kitten later tonight."

Sometimes I really do not understand these humans. I know for sure that there are no other cats in this house. Yet for some reason my human seems to be quite eager to follow her mate's suggestions.  
I have to admit though – the herbs are very tasty. Maybe I should let them keep that room. After all, they do need to have a little bit of space for themselves.  
I take another deep breath and let the scent lull me into sleep.

*purr*


	3. Shiny things

Today I decided I like shiny things.

I found something my slave has hidden in that room with the table. This room is interesting. It is always silent in here. Only my purrs are audible – at least when I let them be heard. As I said before, I use them as a reward.

It makes my servant smile when she hears me purring. I don't know what her mate does – it is not purring, I would've noticed that – but her mate makes her smile all the time.  
I digress. So I found a box on that table. It was rather small and felt strangely fluffy. As if it had fur on it, but very short fur. It smelled strange. _Something I haven't smelled before _was my first thought. But then I remembered. In that room, which I generously let them keep, there is a smell that does remind me of this.

The box was closed. It took a while and a lot of chewing and clawing until it opened. And even then it was only because it fell from the table, I think. Sometimes I wish I had those weird forepaws that humans have.  
So inside of this one was a shiny thing.  
When the box dropped, it fell out and rolled – yes, rolled – through the room.

I was delighted that my slave would think to bring me such a wonderful toy.  
I played with it, made it roll over the floor, shot it under the table, played with it some more... but then I lost it. Just like I did with that stuffed wanna-be-mouse.

It rolled and rolled after I tipped it with my left paw – for some reason this never happens when I use my right paw – until it ended up under the big clunky thing. The one I can climb up on and that has doors.  
There are those things in it. I believe humans call it _books_. They seem to be quite engrossed with those once they open one of them. I tried to do that too, but my servant's mate shoved me away.  
I do not yet grasp what might be so captivating about them. Those are just white thin thingies with black dots on them. Well, at least I got a treat from the mate and a nice tummy rub.

Yeah. That was it. So now I am crouching before this huge thing and trying to reach the new shiny toy, but sadly it is too far away.  
I hear a human approach. It is the mate. She first touches the box. My eyes widen at that. THAT is my box. There was MY toy inside.  
"Oh Saphira", she says in that soft voice she often uses with my servant and then she looks at where the toy is hidden.  
She smiles, stands up and leaves... then comes back with a stick.  
What in the world does she want with that?  
Oh, I see. She uses it to angle out the toy.  
And now...

Oh, no.

She puts it back into the box.

Then she winks at me and lifts her finger to her mouth.  
"Hush", she says and leaves the room, the box lying with me on the floor.

Then I hear her talking to my servant.  
"Miranda? Saphira is playing in your study. She's tossing around something. I haven't seen what it is, but you might want to check on it?" She more asks than states. I hear those clacking sounds that announce the arrival of my white haired slave.

She picks me and the small box up and cradles me to her chest. After checking the content of the box, she puts it back on the desk and then leaves the room – with me on her arm – and closes the door.  
What in the world?  
That was MY toy.  
How dare she carry m... oh, that feels so good. Somehow those fingers know just where to scratch.

We reach the kitchen and I see her mate cutting something. It smells edible. It smells like... that is salmon. My favorite.  
The brunette gives her mate a stern look. "This is for us, not for her."  
When she said _**her**_, she pointed at me. I pout a little and gaze up at those blue eyes. My slave winks and, when her mate has turned her back, scoops up a piece of the delicacy and feeds it to me.  
So... my shiny toy is locked away. But I have salmon. Life is good.

Meow.


	4. Excitement

I saw it. I am sure of that. My toy.  
How dare she.  
Of course neither my human nor her mate understood my protests when they walked through the door.  
They both were giggling and all touchy. But not towards me.  
The brunette took – yes, took: she grabbed her hand and my human just followed her up to their room.  
Maybe they had a sniff of my catnip?  
I still sit at the bottom of the stairs. Stunned. Flabbergasted. (I like that word. The two girls use it often. It sounds funny.)

The grown-ups just went upstairs.  
With my toy.  
Ignoring me.  
Grumbling I walk into the big room with the couch-Patty-isn't-allowed-on and the table-I-get-yelled-at-if-I-sit-on.  
The big fluffball is stretched out on the carpet. During the afternoon the sun would warm up that spot.  
I walk to her head and greet her. She answers with a huff and opens one eye.  
Slowly I crawl up on her side and tread her fur until it fits my sleeping pattern.  
Stupid humans.

Meow.

***-***-***-***-***-***-***-***-***-***-***-***-** *-***-***-***

I am airborne when I awake.  
"The girl. The girls. The girls."  
One wouldn't expect this old well trained St. Bernard lady to get this excited.  
I shake myself after the rude awakening.  
Patty at least has the decency to look sorry for tossing me off like that.  
I just shrug it off and we both pad towards the front door.  
The girls rush in and pet us both before leaving space for the other man. He often brings in their bags. I believe they call him Roy. He is a smart specimen – as far as humans go – he told me how gorgeous I am. I purr loudly upon seeing him and start to rub my chin on his shoes.  
He laughs and, after he has put down the luggage, he bends down to admire my fur with his hands.  
As I said, he is a good and smart human.  
Not like my own... who decided to not even acknowledge me.  
Speaking of her – they come down the stairs to greet their offspring. I glance at my human and wonder how she can be so careful with my fur and its treatment and not groom her own little patch of white fur on her head? It looks really out of order right now.  
Roy greets them and then says his goodbyes. I rub against him once more and watch him as he closes the door behind him.  
I know they all are looking at me.  
Demonstratively I walk towards the two younglings and greet them with a short sniff and quick rub on their shins. Then I walk towards my human. I don't even take the time to settle. I just sit in front of her and look her up and down. Then my gaze falls onto her mate – and on my toy. I huff and walk away.

"What in the world did you do? I have never seen Saphira this mad."  
Even the girls are smart. My human claims to know nothing.  
Well – maybe she really doesn't understand. And she may not be as smart as Roy – but then again... she does have her uses. I will see if and when I forgive her for giving away my toy.  
Who knows what kind of apologies she might come up with.

Meow. 


	5. Catnap

This is so mean. It's like... as if they really want to rub it in. I hiss at them. Yes!  
Of course I know that my human's mate has my toy.  
Now they're all sitting around that table. The kids are excited as well and they all stare at my toy.  
Unfair!  
Patty is lying in her dog bed, but after she dared telling me that the toy may not have been meant to be mine -

I do not care about that dog.

At all.

I am a cat - if I want something it is mine.

It is kitten law!

I sling myself between my slave's feet and...

nothing!

No hand is reaching down to pet me, to scratch me behind my ears.

Nothing!

Huffing I walk into the food room.  
Here all the food is prepared and Patty and I have our own space to eat.  
there is a very broad shelf - the humans call it "counter" (very weird: I do know "counter attacks", but to call this shelf a counter...humans.)  
From this "counter" I can look out through the invisible force field. ( a little warning on my first "meeting" with this force field would have been nice, but again, my humans are disappointing at times)  
The freakiest thing: By night this force field turns into something the humans call a mirror. I can see myself and everything that is behind me. Very weird, but sometimes quite useful.  
Anyway: through it, by day, I have a wonderful overview over the whole area behind the house. A lot of green stuff: small trees, flowers (very yummy ones too) and some small prey.  
In the afternoon hours the sun warms the spot in front of this force field nicely so I can settle down and relax - that is unless my human is home since she has the tendency to pull me up into her arms and then carry me into the room with the desk (the one where I first saw my toy)  
There I sit on her lap while she worships my fur with her wonderful massaging fingers.  
Though not today - of course.  
Today is one of those days where everyone is at home instead of going wherever they tend to go after the sun barely went up - sometimes even before that.  
I would assume they go hunting, but they never show their prey, so that can't be it.  
I heard about other cats that mark furnitures or pee in their rooms when they don't approve of their slaves' actions - well, the cats are surely pissed (very fitting expression I think), but personally I do not like that idea that much.  
I will just sit here in the sun and pout until they realize that something is off.  
Usually I get quite the delicious treats while they try to examine what they did wrong.  
I hope they have tuna.  
The sun is nice and warm. Can't hurt to take a nap while waiting for them... 


	6. The toy

Wow – this is new.  
They didn't do anything. I napped for quite a while it seems...  
and they didn't wake me. They have been here – I know that because they put fresh water into my bowl, but... it is nighttime now.  
I sniff around. Not the slightest trace of a treat.  
Very... weird.  
I jump down on the floor. Maybe Patty knows what's going on.

Honestly – why in the world human's would ever assume it to be safe to let a dog be on guard is beyond me.  
She just sleeps there. I checked her breathing – she is alive... but there is no sign of her as to waking up – at all.  
I guess another visit upstairs is in order.

The door is closed, but that is not a real problem or me. I saw them fiddling with that shiny branch that sticks out of it to open any door.

Okay – it does take me three try to jump onto that branch without skidding off immediately, but now I am finally sitting on it.  
And now... front paws onto the long thing so it goes downwards...  
It appears that opening this door is more difficult than I thought.

Just when I prepare to jump up again that thing moves downward on its own. Did I finally wear it down?

The door opens a crack and I see the mate looking down at me.

"Saphira?"

I meow and enter. Hopping onto my bed I find a comfortable and warm place on my human and curl up to sleep.

I feel the bed dip and the mate better not think of tossing me out.  
My human is still sleeping.  
I prepare myself for a scratching match when I feel the mate's fingers threading through my fur.

"Your favorite place, huh? Can't blame you." She continues stroking my fur. She must've taken lessons from my human. She is quite good at this. Maybe I should reward her with a purr? But then she still has my toy.  
My toy, right – the reason I went up here in the first place.  
I roll over and paw her hand – without claws of course.  
She obliges and shows me her hand – with my toy around one of her fingers.  
"I know you like it. Miranda gave it to me. We are engaged now, that means we will marry and I get to stay with her until the end."  
I frown – as much as a kitten can. Why in the world would humans need a toy for that ?  
Every idiot can smell that these two belong together. Their scents fit perfectly. They need a shiny toy to make sure it stays that way?  
Well – they're only human after all. Maybe I should let her keep the toy. If they need it so desperately. Humans are weird.  
I lick her fingers – just to taste my toy for a last time and curl up on my human again. Yes, this is a perfect spot.  
The mate's fingers massage my scalp while I slowly fall asleep. Thinking that it's time to reward her I start purring as my eyes drift shut.


	7. Boxing day

I don't like this.

I really really don't like this.

I have no idea what they were thinking when they decided to do this.

I do realize my whining sounds pathetic, but I feel utterly betrayed.

What did 'they' do?

Who are 'they'?

„They" are my humans. And they decided to stuff me into some sort of plastic box.

Well - let me clean my paws while I think about how to continue my tale - human blood really tastes awful by the way, but I do think it was necessary.

I doubt the taller one will ever think it wise to wake me up by roughly stuffing me into a box.

So, my humans aren't completely stupid. They do have a box that has a lot of airholes in it. It is more of a cage, really. And they have some sort of fluffy pillow in it, so at least I have something to sit on – the smell is rather disgusting though.

Uh oh... my "owners" are coming. They talk. I'm not sure if they're talking to me or about me. But I don't care. I am mad at them for allowing that dark haired intruder to stuff me in here. That stealer of toys. That mean mean person.

Now the one they call Caroline is crouching next to me, her right front paw – I mean hand – is on my box.

Right above me. There is some noise and suddenly the box flies.

Well, I do understand that she is carrying it, but does it have to move so fast?

I crouch down and feel my body more than ever.

I really shouldn't have drunk all that water earlier.

Oh, they better let me out soon, if I have to pee in this, they will hear about it.

Loudly.

Great. Into an even larger box with rolling things under it.

I remember this.

The last time I was in this thing I ended up on some blank table in a weird smelling room, some friendly voice in a white apron and a long sharp thing that she poked into my butt!

How rude!

I don't like this. I really don't like this.

Really really not!

Finally my slave realizes that something is wrong. Why are humans so slow on the uptake?

She squeezes a finger through the bars and scratches me between my ears.

Not what I hoped for, but it'll do – for now.

I wait for her to open the box, but nothing happens. I breathe in.

And out.

In.

Out.

Nothing.

Huffing I turn my back towards my human and keep myself just out of reach.

I hear her sigh.

Now she has to open the box and..

what the...?

She's left me. She closes the door and enters in the room before my seat.

I can't believe she left me here.

The two redheads enter and my box – and me – get settled between them.

Again a lot of abrupt movement.

Then I hear the one responsible for this coaxing Patty. Apparently she is to be seated in the back.

And she gets treats!

Treats!

I get stuffed into a box – a rough awakening – and Patty gets a coaxing nice voice, luring her into the rolling box and nice yummy treats.

I decide to curl up and mope. These humans have surely forgotten all I taught them. Unbelievable. This must be some nightmare.

Maybe if I fall asleep everything will be back to normal soon and I'll wake up in the lap of my human who is softly petting my fur.

Yep, I shall try that.

If only I hadn't drunk all that water.


	8. To pee or not to pee

The redheads are still trying to pet me through the bars. So far I have been successful in avoiding their attempt. They shall have to work for their redemption.

I hear Patty's huffing breathing noise from the back, it is quite regular, she seems to be sleeping.

The human who put me into this cage is sitting in the front, right next to my servant who hasn't done ANYTHING (!) to help me out of this. Unbelievable.

Instead the they are talking as if everything is wonderful. Well, I bet they could use their strange litter bowl before the trip.

The wheeled box seems to slow down. Smart humans. So they did think of me.

Or not. My servant's mate got out, fiddled at something in the back of the car and stuck some poor snake's head to the car. Odd.

The twins were nice enough to put my box up, so I can see almost everything if I crane my neck at least a bit.

One hand is at the snake's neck – smart human- but she is looking away at some other box. That's not smart. One should always keep an eye on the snake. But then, there is some movement on the box. Maybe that's the human's weak point. Like when I get distracted when the red dot approaches and mocks me.

I decide that now is as good a moment as ever to make my situation known.

I scratch at the soft material, putting it aside a bit and almost, but not really, sit down.

The younglings don't see, or don't know what I'm doing, but my servant knows. Immediately she unties herself from her seat, jumps out of the car, then opens the back door and carries me out.

Well... partially it was too late.

Oh well, they have that thing they put their removable furlike stuff in to clean it. It is quite entertaining to watch. The redhead will live, though her screams indicate that she might not feel that way.

At the very least I did not have to go in the box again.

My servant switched places with her mate and now I sit where I belong, while my human tries to make it up to me.

Maybe I'll reward them with a little purr – once the carriage starts moving again.

Maybe.


End file.
